If you were one of the ones penning sonnets to the genius of new Auburn offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn, it’s time to start singing a different tune.

If you were one of the ones marveling at the transformation of Auburn quarterback Chris Todd, further examination is now due.

Don’t feel alone, nearly every observer of Auburn football got caught up to a degree in the blistering offensive pace of the 5-0 start. Glaring defensive deficiencies were overlooked, the relative level of competition was ignored.

It was just too easy to pick up stones and hurl them at former head coach Tommy Tuberville for his 2008 failures while basking in the faux glow of a quick start to 2009.

Others may not be ready or willing to take this step just yet, but it’s time to wonder if the 2009 Tigers are any better off than the 2008 version that crashed and burned to a 5-7 record.

Short answer? No. They’re not. In some ways, this team may be worse.

Despite a five-win start, aided by six West Virginia turnovers, the Tigers are staring at the very real possibility of a 6-6 finish, particularly when you consider that the four toughest opponents on the schedule (LSU, Ole Miss, Georgia and Alabama) remain.

Yes, with Furman looming for Homecoming chances are that this team will at least make bowl eligibility, but is that really so much better than last season’s abomination?

No.

This Tiger defense is markedly worse. Over the past two games, the offense hasn’t been much better than the abysmal sludge that stunk up the 2008 campaign.

Auburn’s defense played well in patches in Saturday’s loss to Kentucky. It still missed far too many assignments and failed to make routine plays with the game on the line.

Kentucky started a freshman at quarterback who had never taken a collegiate snap. The Wildcats relied on a career backup in the second half. Still, Kentucky was able to smack the Auburn defense in the mouth.

There’s no excuse for that.

Kentucky wasn’t doing anything fancy. Auburn helped make the ‘Cats look like beasts with shoddy fundamentals, dreadful tackling and repeated mental lapses.

It’s nothing new.

The Tiger defense has a habit of doing that. The doomed no-pressure defensive scheme employed by defensive coordinator Ted Roof has given every team on the schedule, including Ball State, highlight reel material.

Through five games, Auburn’s offense was able to hide those deficiencies by scoring points in bunches.

Points are no longer coming.

After authoring a comeback story that had begun to draw national attention, quarterback Chris Todd reverted to playing like something a lactose-intolerant cat sicked up on the carpet after digging pizza out of the garbage can.

His performance against Kentucky was reminiscent of some of his worst efforts a year ago.

Todd missed open receivers, continually fired into double coverage, underthrew receivers, overthrew receivers and played with all the finesse of Pinocchio — before he was turned into a real boy.

Todd wasn’t alone in committing offensive suicide.

Twice, Auburn drives in Kentucky territory were bogged down by asinine penalties, the kind of repetitive mistakes you’d expect from a pee-wee team.

The offensive line dragged around like it had somewhere better to be.

Mario Fannin, a legitimate offensive threat, was misused.

How in two short weeks the supposed Tiger offensive juggernaut turned into the Hindenburg is a mystery. Oh the humanity.

Malzahn’s stock has crashed harder than Wachovia’s portfolio. That wizard hat he was wearing after an offense-fueled 5-0 start has looked an awful lot like a dunce cap the last two weeks.

With the exception of some hard-nosed running by senior tailback Ben Tate, Auburn’s offense was at least as ineffective as a year ago. It wasn’t clever, it wasn’t cute, it wasn’t innovative.

It was, instead, predictable, plodding and pedestrian. The playcalling, particularly in critical situations, would have made even Tony Franklin sputter in disbelief.

It looked, quite frankly, like a high school offensive coordinator suddenly realizing he was in over his head.

Is it possible that former Arkansas head coach Houston Nutt was actually right when he wrested control of the Hog offense from Malzahn midway through Malzahn’s one-season tenure with the Razorbacks?

Auburn’s wunderkind coordinator Malzahn has been outmaneuvered by two middle of the pack SEC lambs in Arkansas and Kentucky. Both the ‘Hogs and ‘Cats were winless in the league before facing Auburn.

It’s gruesome to think what feast the lions remaining on Auburn’s schedule will have at the Tiger’s expense if Malzahn isn’t able to conjure up something more effective than the gory mishmash he’s gagged out the past two weeks.

What happened Saturday night was a fail of epic proportions. A slight improvement by the defense — but again remember that Kentucky was playing without its starting quarterback — was completely squandered by a dreadful offense.

Auburn is not a good football team by SEC standards.

There are some legitimate excuses regarding talent and depth, but much of what happened on Saturday can be directly attributed to poor coaching. No offense to Kentucky fans, but Auburn should not lose to Kentucky at home. period.

The Arkansas loss was supposed to be a learning situation. Maybe what Auburn learned is that it just isn’t as good as the fast start indicated.

After last season went off the rails, Auburn made wholesale changes. A ten-year veteran with a proven track record was forced out. An entirely new coaching staff was brought in. Through seven games, the Tigers are no better off than they were a year ago. In fact, they may be even worse.

“Tell the sculptor to hold off on that statue of me and Gene Chizik. What? I don’t care if he’s 90% done with it, tell him to put a hold on it, we’re not putting it out in front of the stadium just yet.”

For the past two-and-a-half hours, Jacobs watched as the Arkansas Razorbacks served a healthy dose of 44-23 humility to the Auburn football program.

Some Auburn fans who booed Jacobs after he hired 5-19 Chizik to coach the Tiger football program had changed their tune after a 5-0 start to 2009. Lost in the rush to celebrate the resurgence and issue calls for the college football world to apologize for thinking Chizik didn’t have the credentials to handle the task was the fact that Auburn’s first five games were, if not cupcakes, at least in the pastry family.

Arkansas served notice that while the rush to judge Chizik’s 5-19 record might have been premature, so, too was the urge to wave the 5-0 start as a definitive case for proving the skeptics wrong.

It wasn’t just that Auburn suffered its first loss under new head coach Chizik, it was the way in which the Hogs administered the reality check.

When you’re playing on the road in the SEC, there is a checklist to follow, otherwise you’re going to get embarrassed.

1) Don’t turn the ball over

Fail. Auburn did. The Tigers fumbled four times, losing three. All four were devastating. Arkansas scored 17 points following Auburn turnovers.

In the second quarter, after Arkansas had gone up 13-0, Mario Fannin fumbled the kickoff at the Tiger 35. Three plays later, the deficit was 20.

In the third, trailing 27-3, Auburn’s opening possession churned deep into Arkansas territory. Running back Ben Tate dropped a handoff at the Arkansas goal line when he would have scored easily. The Razorbacks recovered, hit a 38-yard pass on third down and went on to up the advantage to 34-3.

After Auburn clawed back into the game, reeling off 20 -7 run to close to 41-23, Tiger quarterback Chris Todd fumbled the snap on 4th-and-inches. He recovered the ball, but failed to convert the first down. Arkansas didn’t score, but the Razorbacks were able to bleed two minutes off the clock.

On the following possession, Todd was sacked and coughed up the ball at the Tiger 10-yard line. Arkansas punched a field goal through to push the final score to 44-23.

2) Don’t give up big plays on special teams

Fail. Auburn did.

Fannin fumbled the kickoff, leading to one Arkansas score.

After Auburn had gained momentum and closed the deficit to a manageable 34-23, the Tigers surrendered a 70-yard kickoff return. Eight plays later, it was 41-23.

3) Sustain drives on offense

Fail. Auburn didn’t.

The Tigers were a miserable 4-of-14 on third downs. Auburn only had three drives that consisted of more than five plays. Five of Auburn’s 14 possessions ended in three plays or less.

4) Keep the opposing offense off the field

Fail. Auburn didn’t.

Arkansas put together a 12-play drive, a 10-play march, and two eight-play series. The Hogs went three and out just three times.

5) Don’t commit penalties

Fail. Auburn did.

The Tigers were flagged eight times for 56 yards, nearly every step-off coming at the worst possible time. Arkansas got six first downs by way of penalty.

Four of Arkansas’ six touchdown drives were extended by penalty. All four featured at least one pass interference call, some of which were phantom but flagged nonetheless.

Everything that could go wrong for the Tigers did go wrong. The team was uninspired, unemotional, and ill-prepared. That’s coaching.

Those of you baking dishes of crow and demanding apologies from those who had the audacity to criticize the once 5-0 Tiger head coach Chizik? Better wrap that crow up tightly in tinfoil and put it in the freezer. Doesn’t look like you’ll be getting to serve it for a while. Better dig out your reality recipes instead.

Auburn’s defense is simply abysmal. Depth is a consideration, but not enough to justify what the Razorbacks exposed on Saturday. You can’t blame depth when the first string is getting abused on the opening series of the game.

Chizik’s reputation as a defensive genius was tarnished by the steady decline of his defenses at Iowa State. Through five games, Auburn’s defense has been horror-movie frightening, but a steady Tiger dose of offense was able to mask the issues.

When the offense struggles, as it did against Arkansas, the deficiencies are there for all to see—and mock.

If you watched film on Arkansas, you knew the way to defuse the Razorback offense was to bring pressure on quarterback Ryan Mallet. Auburn defensive coordinator Ted Roof must have been watching reruns of Gomer Pyle, USMC in the film room instead.

The Tigers brought zero heat, never rushing more than four and often sending only three. As any eight-year old could predict, the result was Mallett torching the Tiger secondary.

Eight different Hogs caught Mallett passes for a total of 274 yards.

The lack of pressure also opened holes for Arkansas running backs, who generally weren’t touched until they reached the second level of Tiger defense, three or more yards down the field.

Arkansas rushed for 221total yards, with Michael Smith busting 145 of that.

It wasn’t just that Arkansas put points on the board, it was the ease with which the damage was done that was alarming.

Let’s be brutally honest. Every team Auburn has played so far, including Ball State, has abused the Auburn defense at some point. The Tiger stopping unit has yet to play well enough to win a game, but the offense until Saturday was able to compensate.

Ah, the offense.

How do you explain the debacle that was Saturday? How does one of the nation’s best offenses (statistically) get punked by one of the nation’s worst defenses (statistically)?

First, blame the defense. Your gameplan changes when the hole keeps getting bigger and bigger.

That’s not the whole story, though.

Auburn offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn appeared to have outcoached himself. Could it be that he wanted to win so badly on the field of his former employer that he allowed that primal urge to overcome the basic concepts that could have changed the game?

Something was decidedly different.

Auburn scored on a few quick-strike runs in the third quarter, but the Tiger offense was never able to sustain anything on a consistent basis. Auburn was out of sync from the start.

After Todd took the initial snap of the game and lost two yards on a screen pass, Kodi Burns took the offensive reins. Auburn fans have seen that movie before. It didn’t have a happy ending.

Scramble, incomplete, punt.

The next time the Tigers got the ball, Auburn was down six points.

False start penalties plagued the next two Auburn possessions and Todd overthrew a wide open Terrell Zachary for what could have been an easy touchdown.

Opportunity to change the dynamic of the game missed.

Auburn’s defense did a fairly effective job of containing the Hogs after the opening series. But as the Tiger offense continued to sputter and waste opportunities, the seams began to crack.

After the third consecutive Tiger possession went nowhere, Auburn had a chance to get Arkansas off the field again, but a third down stop was nullified by an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on Zac Etheridge who forgot the cardinal rule: He who retaliates for getting punched in the face is the one who gets flagged.

A ticky pass interference call one play later moved the ball 15 more yards and the Hogs put it in the end zone.

Fannin fumbled the ensuing kickoff and the dam broke.

The Tiger offense tried trickery when it should have simply punched the Hogs in the face. It tried to be things it isn’t, as when Todd went under center on a fourth and short and was unable to handle the snap.

It never established a rhythm, never found a groove and allowed a relatively pedestrian defense to slap it around like a crying dirty diaper baby at Wal Mart.

Chizik, the king of platitudes, will likely repeat one of his standard phrases to try to put the loss in perspective.

Look for this comment from Chizik: “It’s never as good as it seems and it’s never as bad as it seems.”

Or maybe he’ll trot out the “Every Saturday is different” cliche.

Regardless of which phrase he plucks from Trite Sayings for Coaches Vol. 1 there’s really no excuse for what transpired Saturday.

Auburn did a lot of the damage to itself. It made a bad team look like a world beater.

The question for the Tigers now is how to respond. Put the 5-0 start away. What Chizik does in his next six opportunities will more clearly define whether an apology from the doubters is warranted.

This wasn’t ever going to be a 12-0 type team. Auburn was going to lose games. This won’t be the only time the Tigers walk away on the short end of the scoreboard this season. Losses happen. Looking like lumpy kitty litter in the process shouldn’t.

Things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Every Saturday is different. If the Tigers don’t learn from this and find some way to rectify the problems exposed by an Arkansas team that, frankly, isn’t nearly as good as Auburn made them look there are going to be a lot of Saturdays down the road that seem the same—and just as bad.

First the good news.

Auburn is 5-0. With a game against Furman still to come, the Tigers are all but assured a bowl game, which at the beginning of the season was considered a reasonable goal for 2009. Given the current state of the SEC, expectations for an upper tier bowl are now not unreasonable.

Tiger head coach Gene Chizik notched his first road win as a head coach in one of the most hostile environments in the league and in the process extended Auburn’s winning streak over its longtime rival.

Chizik’s young team proved it can maintain focus and thrive away from the friendly confines of Jordan-Hare Stadium.

It will be almost impossible for poll voters to ignore Auburn now. The Tigers should crack the poll for the first time since a loss to Arkansas slammed Auburn from the rankings on October 11 a year ago.

Auburn’s offense acquitted itself well against a Monte Kiffin-directed Tennessee defense that had clamped down on the Florida Gators and was expected to provide a significant challenge to a resurgent Tiger offense.

Auburn moved the ball significantly better against Tennessee than did the nation’s number one team, Florida. The Tigers put up better numbers despite the efforts of more than 100,000 Volunteer fans in Knoxville. Florida had the luxury of taking down the Vols at home.

Auburn piled up 459 total yards on Rocky Top. Florida managed just 323.

Running back Ben Tate continued to chew up the opposition, rolling up 128 yards on 25 carries. On one highlight-reel quality hit, Tate lowered his shoulder and sent All American safety Eric Berry pinwheeling into a backward slide.

If that doesn’t give you pause, try to wrap your mind around this::

Tiger quarterback Chris Todd outperformed Florida Heisman Trophy winner (and presumed favorite unless you’re Lou Holtz and have an unhealthy obsession with all things Notre Dame) Tebow.

Todd was 19 of 32 passing for 218 yards and a touchdown. He didn’t throw an interception and wasn’t sacked. Against the Vols, Tebow threw for a meager 115 yards. He was sacked three times and was picked off once. Florida’s superman did rush for 105 yards on 24 attempts, but that’s not the role Todd is required to play.

Nobody’s cranking up a Todd for Heisman campaign yet, but the Auburn quarterback has numbers that rank near the top of the SEC in every significant category. Todd is second in the league in yards per game with an average of 246. He’s fourth in passing efficiency.

He is cool and efficient in running offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn’s game plan. Todd took his lumps against Tennessee as the Vols brought pressure and hit Todd often. He took the punishment and delivered despite the beating he suffered.

The special teams gaffes that plagued the Tigers in all four games were non-existent on Saturday. Onterrio McCalebb’s kickoff returns were electric.

His fourth-quarter return, in particular, flipped field position and provided the Tigers momentum that should have finished off the Volunteers.

Auburn did no damage on punt returns but that includes damage to itself which has been a weekly occurrence. Fair catches ruled the day and while they limited field position with four coming inside the Tiger 20, there were no muffs or bobbles.

Wes Byrum continued solid place-kicking work, hitting three of four field goals.

Overall, it was a fairly thorough domination and a game Auburn never seemed in jeopardy of losing control over.

At the very least, the Tigers established themselves as a team that will require attention by the rest of the SEC.

Now for the bad. And it’s not all bad.

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but the game should not have been nearly as close as the final score reflected.

Auburn’s performance was much more dominant than it would appear on the surface. The Tigers wasted several opportunities to drive a stake through Tennessee’s heart. Auburn should have put Tennessee away and finished with a 10-15 point differential instead of the final four-point spread.

As the Tigers navigate a progressively more difficult October schedule, Auburn can’t afford to waste scoring opportunities.

McCalebb dropped a pass in the end zone that should have been caught for one touchdown.

Late in the game, leading 23-16, Auburn had the ball inside the Tennessee five. Malzahn seemed to abandon his traditional method of attack content to drain the clock and kick a field goal for a 26-16 advantage with 34 seconds remaining.

Those two series alone would have been enough to turn a 26-22 win into a more typical for 2009 37-13 type spanking.

As it turned out, the field goal on the last offensive series was needed as Tennessee covered 79 yards in the final 34 seconds to tack on a consolation touchdown on the last play of the game.

There were worse final 34 second spans on Saturday. Georgia suffered one when LSU’s Charles Scott broke loose for a game-winning score.

But the worst of all came when Ball State allowed a long game-winning pass for a score in the waning seconds against Toledo.

Auburn didn’t suffer the ignominy that either the Bulldogs or Cardinals did, but still, the ease with which the Volunteers motored down the field as time ticked down is a concern.

Auburn’s defense played relatively well most of the game. The Tigers did an excellent job of containing Tennessee’s rushing attack, holding the Vols to 163 yards on the ground, well below their season average.

Tennessee opened the game with a 41-yard rush but that first series ended with a missed field goal. Nine of the next ten Volunteer possessions finished with a punt.

The lone exception was a seven-play 70 yard touchdown march at the end of the first half.

If you’re being honest, however, you have to acknowledge that many of the punting situations were caused as much by Tennessee miscues as they were outstanding Tiger defensive efforts.

Volunteer receivers dropped pass after pass. Tennessee quarterback Jonathan Crompton threw in front of, over, behind and in front of open receivers.

Frustration was high. Just prior to the Vols late first half drive, ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews noted chaos on the Tennessee sideline with coaches and players having to be physically separated.

Yet Auburn could not take full advantage of the turmoil.

Tennessee players know better than to ask Crompton to pass the salt at dinner because it’s likely to be intercepted before it gets there. Crompton had at least one pick in every game dating back to his first pee-wee effort. But he didn’t have one Saturday.

Instead, Crompton had one of his best days as a Vol.

The much maligned Tennessee quarterback played like Tom Brady in the fourth quarter against Auburn after playing like Marsha Brady for most of the last two years.

Auburn took a 23-6 lead with a touchdown early in the fourth quarter and appeared to have the game well in hand.

Despite the desperation of the situation it was like the light went on for the Volunteer offense.

Tennessee churned 62 yards in seven plays, burning less than two minutes off the clock. Crompton, who’d shown all the finesse of a brick layer through three quarters caught fire. He hit four of five passes including a 31 yarder for a touchdown that trimmed Auburn’s lead to 23-13.

After a defensive stop, Crompton went back to work. He was six of 12 on a 72-yard drive that resulted in a field goal. Four of the six completions gave Tennessee a first down, including an 18-yard completion on fourth and six.

From 23-6, Tennessee closed to 23-16.

McCalebb’s return and the Byrum field goal that ended Auburn’s next possession effectively slammed the door, but in the final two drives, Crompton went from being a liability to at least window shopping the hero’s cape.

He padded his stats with 64 yards on three completions in the final 34 seconds. Of his 259 total passing yards, 181 of them came in the fourth quarter.

Part of the reason for Crompton’s success was Auburn failed to pressure him. The Tigers didn’t register a sack and Auburn defenders were credited with a mere five hurries, a number that is probably generous.

Auburn managed to survive a revitalized Crompton over the final ten minutes of the game, but his success has to buoy the confidence of the Ryan Mallets, Jevan Sneads and Greg McElroys waiting down the road.

That’s a worry for next week.

Auburn is 5-0. The Tigers will likely be ranked for the first time in a calendar year when the polls come out today. Auburn is a virtual lock for a bowl game and probably a win or two away from getting New Year’s Day consideration. The positives far outweigh the negatives.

Come Sunday morning, Tiger fans will have more reason to boast while Volunteer supporters will be left scratching their heads and wondering when they’ll be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The meeting between the Tigers and Volunteers is a study in contrasts. In everything from the demeanor of their head coaches to their respective strengths and weaknesses, the two teams are polar opposites.

Chizik is low key. He gives little to the media beyond standard coaching cliches and pat phrases. His press conferences are virtually interchangeable. He’s cautious, reserved and evokes a business only aura.

Kiffin is ebullient. He’s angered opposing coaches and drawn the ire of SEC Commissioner Roy Kramer by sniping at rivals, and engaging in media-fueled battles with opposing coaches. His press conferences are events, because no one is really sure what Kiffin’s going to say— or have to apologize for—next.

Chizik’s Tigers have surpassed early expectations. Poll voters haven’t noticed, but Auburn is 4-0.

Kiffin’s Volunteers have struggled to match his abrasive bravado. Tennessee checks in at 2-2, or 3-1 if you count moral victories. At this point, polls are the last thing on their mind.

Chizik came to Auburn with a reputation as a defensive wizard. As defensive coordinator at Auburn and then Texas he presided over two straight undefeated seasons and one national title—or two if you count titles like cross-state rival Bama fans do.

Kiffin was the pick at Tennessee in large part because of his work with the offense at USC, where the Trojans were a perennial national contender.

Irony number one?

Chizik won his Texas national title while running the Longhorn defense against Kiffin’s Trojans.

Irony number two?

Despite Kiffin’s offensive reputation, Tennessee’s best chance on Saturday rests with its defense. The Volunteer offense remains stuck on start and has shown little sign of go. The Tennessee defense is talented and extremely effective.

Conversely, Chizik’s defensive rep is overshadowed by Auburn’s performance on offense. Questions abound for the Tiger defense, but the Auburn offense has rolled up more than 500 yards per game on average and is scoring a blistering 45 points per outing.

On Saturday something has to give.

Tennessee defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin, Lane’s father, devised an outstanding plan to put the brakes on Tim Tebow and the Florida Gators in a 23-13 loss/moral victory at Florida.

Chances are the elder Kiffin will have a similar scheme to derail a resurgent Chris Todd and the high-scoring Tiger offense.

Kiffin’s task was made significantly more difficult with the loss of linebacker Nick Reveiz, whose 27 tackles are third on the team.

The problem for the Volunteers is that the Auburn offense seems capable of putting points on the board. Tennessee might be able to slow it down, but the chance of stopping it outright seems remote.

Auburn averages 526 yards and 45 points per game. The Tigers pick up an average of seven yards per play. Even if the Volunteer defense is able to cut that production in half, it will likely still be enough against a Tennessee offense that puts the in in inept.

The Volunteers are moderately effective at running the ball (nearly 200 yards per game), but to say Tennessee quarterback Jonathan Crompton has struggled would be putting it kindly.

Crompton has thrown eight interceptions in just four games. A six-year old child could draw up the defensive gameplan against Tennessee.

Put eight men in the box to limit the run and put pressure on Crompton. Force him to make a mistake.

After West Virginia torched Auburn for two big plays early in a 41-30 Tiger win, that’s essentially the plan defensive coordinator Auburn Ted Roof employed. The result? Five Mountaineer interceptions and a Tiger win.

Auburn’s defense has issues. The Tigers allow a too-high 4.6 yards per play. Opponents average more than 150 yards rushing and more than 170 passing. Opponents score an average of 24 points per game.

That must improve for loftier season expectations to come to fruition. As it pertains to Saturday’s meeting, however, the Volunteers show no indication they are capable of taking advantage of the defensive questions the Tigers present.

Last season these two teams waged an epic battle on the floor of Jordan-Hare Stadium that resulted in 792 combined yards. Punting yards. Tennessee punted ten times for 399 yards, the Tigers nine for 393.

Given Auburn’s offensive prowess and the Tigers’ defensive questions, you may see another 800-yard effort—with no punts—on Saturday.

As the lights go down, you’ll also see a 5-0 Auburn team. The only question is whether poll voters will finally take notice.

Only 27 teams in Auburn history have started a season 4-0. Eight of those occurred after 1974.

Of the eight teams in the last 35 years that started 4-0, only two failed to win at least ten games. The 1994 Tigers reeled off nine before a closing with a tie and a loss. Auburn started 2000 with five consecutive wins before fading to 4-4 down the stretch.

Two of the eight finished the season without a loss.

Only one of the eight lost more than two games.

Three of the eight won the SEC West (one other would have but was on probation).

Six of the eight finished in the Top Ten. All eight were ranked at the end of the season.

Seven of the eight opened the season with at least five consecutive wins.

Of interest to fans of college football’s greatest rivalry, seven of the eight Auburn teams that opened 4-0 defeated cross-state rival Alabama.

The 2009 Auburn Tigers have a long way to go before they can start considering double digit win totals.

Auburn special teams are truly special, particularly if you’re using the term “special” to describe something malformed, hideous and shocking to the senses.

Against Ball State the Tigers fumbled a punt that led to a Cardinal touchdown, attempted a ill-timed and poorly-executed fake punt that helped Ball State put a field goal on the board, committed penalties that nullified the only quality punt and kick off returns, and did a poor job containing Cardinal kick returners.

Auburn head coach Gene Chizik said special teams were his focus after flops against Louisiana Tech and Mississippi State were costly. There seems to be little, if any, improvement.

Kicker Wes Byrum provides lone spark to the woeful special teams effort. Byrum appears to have regained the consistency he showed as a freshman and has been methodically efficient.

Defensive lapses are also particularly troubling.

The Tigers gagged up 30 points to a team that managed just ten against North Texas.

Auburn continues to display a frustrating inability to get the opposition off the field on third down.

Poor tackling continues to plague the Tigers.

Fortunately the Auburn offense has no such issues. Tiger quarterback Chris Todd continues to gain confidence and the Tiger offense has more than compensated for the defensive deficiencies.

Auburn racked up nearly 600 yards against the Cardinals despite sporadic struggles in the rushing game, including a dreadful failure on fourth down in the first quarter.

At some point during the SEC season, Auburn will run into a team that will put the clamps on the offense and the Tigers will have to lean on the defense to earn a win.

The Tiger stopping unit has so far shown no indication it is capable of holding up its end of the bargain.

Still, the Tigers are 4-0. It’s better to be 4-0 with clearly defined areas in need of improvement than 0-4 and performing at peak efficiency.

From a historical standpoint, the 4-0 start forecasts an expectation-defying season for Auburn.

The last Tiger team to start 4-0 banged out five straight wins, including a gutsy 24-17 win over South Carolina in Columbia. Auburn started 2006 ranked fourth and had a chance to leap into the number one spot before Arkansas derailed the winning streak and bounced Auburn out of the Top Ten 27-10.

The 2006 Tigers finished the season 11-2 and were ranked ninth after knocking off Nebraska in the Cotton Bowl.

Other Auburn teams that opened a season with four consecutive wins:

2004 — SEC Champions

Auburn won 13 straight games and finished the season ranked second in the nation. The Tigers were denied a shot in the BCS title game despite playing the toughest schedule among the top three teams and despite beating more top ten teams than the other two competitors combined.

2000 — SEC West Champions

Tommy Tuberville’s second Auburn team roared out to a 5-0 start behind the surprising dominance of junior college transfer Rudi Johnson. The Tigers climbed to 19th in the polls before dropping back-to-back games to Mississippi State and Florida. Auburn finished the year 9-4 after losses to Florida in the SEC Championship Game and Michigan in the Outback Bowl.

Auburn (9-4) closed 2000 ranked 18th.

1997 — SEC West Champions

A year before the Terry Bowden era imploded, quarterback Dameyune Craig helped power Auburn to a 6-0 start. The Tigers clawed their way to sixth in the poll before falling to number seven Florida. The 1997 Tigers lost to Tennessee and Peyton Manning 30-29 in the SEC Championship Game before upending Clemson in the Peach Bowl.

Auburn (10-3) finished the 1997 season ranked 11th.

1993 – 1994

Bowden’s Auburn tenure got off to an incredible start. Despite probation and limited expectations, his first Auburn team clicked off eleven consecutive wins, including a 22-14 win over Alabama.

Even though Auburn was the only major program in the country with an undefeated record of 11-0, the Tigers finished fourth in the polls.

The streak continued through the first nine games of 1994. Georgia halted the winning streak with a 23-23 tie before Alabama upended the Tigers 21-14 to end the season.

Auburn (9-1-1) was ranked ninth in the final poll in 1994.

1988 — SEC Champions

Auburn opened the 1988 campaign ranked seventh. Four wins later, the Tigers had surged to fourth when they visited Baton Rouge for a showdown against LSU Tigers. In a classic SEC bout, the Bayou Bengals set off seismic waves when a fourth quarter touchdown gained a 7-6 win.

The loss was probably the most frustrating of Dye’s career. Three straight shutouts followed and the Tigers only allowed 28 total points over the remaining six games of the season — all wins.

Had Auburn survived LSU, the Tigers would have played a typically overrated Notre Dame team in the Orange Bowl for the national title. Instead, Auburn got a Sugar Bowl bid and fell 13-7 to Deion Sanders and Florida State.

Auburn finished the season 10-2 and ranked eighth. 10-2

1986

In the first year of the post-Bo Jackson era, Pat Dye’s 1998 Tigers churned through seven straight games, rising as high as fifth in the polls, before 20th-ranked Florida rallied in the fourth quarter to eclipse Auburn 18-17. Georgia skimmed past the Tigers 20-16 two weeks later. Auburn smacked Rodney Peete and USC 16-7 in the Florida Citrus Bowl to finish 10-2, seven total points from an undefeated season.

The 10-2 Tigers closed 1986 ranked sixth.

1974

Auburn rolled up seven consecutive wins to open the 1974 campaign. Legendary Tiger coach Shug Jordan was one dismal season away from retirement and this was his last great team.

The Tigers finished 10-2 and were ranked 8th.

1972

One of the most cherished of all Auburn teams, the Amazin’s were expected to flounder after the departure of Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Pat Sullivan and record-setting receiver Terry Beasley. The team flourished instead.

Auburn won four straight before a loss at LSU. The Tigers rebounded and knocked out six consecutive wins to close the season. Included in that string was the famous Punt Bama Punt game, an improbable 17-16 Auburn win, and a 27-3 thrashing of Texas in the Cotton Bowl.

Auburn (10-1) finished the season ranked fifth.

1957 – 1971

Auburn started at least 4-0 on five occasions between 1957 and 1971

1971: Auburn won nine straight and finished 9-2
1970: Auburn won its first five and finished 9-2
1963: Six straight to open the season led to a 9-2 finish
1962: Auburn won its first five, but fell to 6-3-1
1957: The National Champion Tigers ran off 10 consecutive wins
1908 – 1921
Auburn opened with at least four consecutive wins in 1921 (5-3 overall), 1919 (8-1 overall), 1917 (6-2-1 overall), 1916 (6-2 overall), 1915 (6-2 overall), 1914 (8-0-1 overall), 1913 (8-0 overall), 1912 (7-1-1 overall), 1909 (6-2 overall), 1908 (6-1 overall), 1907 (7-0 overall), and 1900 (4-0 overall).

A Day in the Life of Gus Malzhan

5:07 a.m.

Auburn offensive coordinator Gus Malzhan wakes up without the benefit of an alarm clock. He doesn’t need one, because the offensive machine that is his brain has a self-timer and turns on automatically.

Why not wake up at 5:00 or 5:15? Because waking up at 5:07 is not what people expect. Malzhan likes to keep them guessing. Tomorrow, he might wake up at 5:12.

His eyes open, he reaches for one of the four pens lined up on his nightstand. On a yellow legal pad, he sketches out the visions that came to him during his sleep. One involves the center turned sideways and snapping the ball directly to a wide receiver.

He once had an alarm clock, but one morning lined it up as a toaster. It was so successful at that position it now resides in his kitchen, where it is currently leading all appliances in charred-bread production.

5:45 – 7 a.m.

Malzhan eats breakfast.

His alarm clock has the toast prepared. Malzhan has a three-minute egg—trimmed down to a 1:11—and a bowl of instant oatmeal. He is working on something faster than instant because the oatmeal’s pace annoys him, but he hasn’t yet figured out how to rip the time-space continuum and have it cooked before it is opened.

After breakfast, Malzhan retrieves the paper from the front porch. It’s always sitting perfectly on his door mat. When he first moved to the neighborhood, he had to retrieve the paper from the bushes a few times, but he took the paperboy aside and showed him an overhand throwing technique that allows him to make both the short and long throws with accuracy.

He also took a look at the paperboy’s route and re-ordered a couple of stops. What used to take the paperboy two hours to complete now takes an hour and 16 minutes. Malzhan is convinced he can still trim that by four minutes.

He never reads the sports section, because it only tells him what has happened. Malzhan is more interested in what will happen.

He works the Soduku puzzle. In pen. Instead of whole numbers, Malzhan uses values like 4.25 and 3.333 to make it more interesting. He finishes in four minutes and nine seconds. The numbers all add up.

He works the crossword puzzle. In pen. He forgoes English and uses words from a variety of different languages to complete the grid. He finishes in six minutes and 34 seconds. The words all connect. Reading them sequentially, he has written a short story warning about the travails of inefficiency. And a haiku.

Malzhan doesn’t read the comics. He doesn’t have time to laugh.

Besides, he noticed something about Lucy’s hold that could help Charlie Brown connect with the football. He’s also got some advice on the number of steps Brown takes before attempting the kick.

If he cut those down, he’s sure Brown could score on the play. But Charles Schultz is dead and won’t take his calls, so he can’t get it corrected. This annoys Malzhan.

Malzhan spends The remainder of the morning sorting out his impressive visor collection.

7:04 a.m.

Malzhan departs for work. Today it’s 7:04. Tomorrow? You’ll have to wait and see.

Yesterday, Malzhan turned left out of his driveway. Today, he turns right.

Yesterday, he drove a unicycle to work because he could dodge between cars and get there faster.

Today, he’s on foot. Carrying a canoe. Malzhan cuts across the field across from his abode, drops the canoe in a stream, floats under the highway and steers it to the creek bank. He carries the canoe up a hill and then slides down the grass to the parking lot. He parks the canoe in his space and heads into his office.

His boss, Gene Chizik, left for work at 6:45 and had less distance to cover than Malzhan. When Chizik arrives after fighting morning traffic, Malzhan’s canoe is already parked. For all Chizik knows, there will be a pair of rollerskates and a box of bottle rockets in Malzhan’s space tomorrow. He’s no longer surprised.

8:12 a.m. – 10:03 a.m.

Why 8:12? Because… yeah, the element of surprise.

Malzhan watches samurai movies and Westerns. Not because he enjoys them, but because the samurai teach him methods of attack and the Westerns give him ideas for herding. He sometimes likes to think of his offenses as cowboys on horseback herding the defenses where they want them to go.

Then branding them.

Malzhan thinks cows are dumb. Like opposing defenders. He likes to brand them. Lots of opposing defenders carry his searing, still-smoking brand.

10:04 – 12:18

For over two hours, Malzhan does nothing but sketch plays. In pen.

The first 23 minutes are devoted solely to the sideways snap to the wide receiver concept that came to him in a vision. By 10:31, the play has fourteen variations depending on personnel.

In one, the center becomes an eligible receiver. Malzhan knows this isn’t permitted by NCAA rules, but he likes thinking up things like this in case he’s ever in charge of the NCAA and can eliminate such ridiculous constraints. The NCAA annoys him.

Malzhan has his secretary draft a letter to the NCAA asking them to consider a variety of changes, including one that would allow the entire offensive line to go in motion, leaving a receiver to snap the ball.

His secretary types 432 words per minute, and he’s convinced he can have her hitting the 450 mark by December.

Malzhan checks in with offensive line coach Jeff Grimes to see if he’s ever taught a sideways snapping technique. When Grimes says no, Malzhan drops to the ground, grabs a potted plant and executes a perfect sideways snap down the hallway.

“Like that,” he says.

In the quiet of his office, Chizik hears the potted plant hit the wall and explode. He sighs, but doesn’t look up. Yesterday Malzhan destroyed a picture frame while explaining a new blocking alignment to receivers coach Curtis Luper.

The day before that, Malzhan tore off all the moulding around Chizik’s door to demonstrate a potential offensive set he’d learned from a samurai movie.

Malzhan returns to the office, takes his sketches, orders them in a notebook and puts them in a safe. His safe is large because it contains 1,697 notebooks. Each notebook contains 1,000 pages. Each page contains five offensive plays.

Later he’ll have his secretary laminate the pages. On game day. he’ll pull one page out of one book at random. Doesn’t matter which book. It’s all he needs.

Malzhan knows that if archeologists from the planet Barbaton find his notebooks a thousand years from now, they’ll be able to use the information contained in them to score against the rival Trampatodes. A lot.

12:19 – 1:14

Malzhan eats breakfast again. Sort of.

Yes, it’s supposed to be lunch time, but Malzhan likes to keep people guessing. He orders two pancakes smothered in onion gravy. He’s ordered the same thing for three straight days. When he comes back tomorrow, the waitress will think she knows what he’s going to do.

Boy will she be surprisesd.

Malzhan will order French toast with ranch dressing tomorrow. The waitress won’t know what hit her. It’s part of the plan.

1:14 – 1:18

Malzhan draws devil horns, glasses and a beard on a picture of Houston Nutt. Just for fun, he blacks out a few of Nutt’s teeth.

1:24 – 6:36

The remainder of Malzhan’s work day is occupied with practice and team meetings.

The matters discussed during this time are privileged and confidential. Were they disclosed, you’d have to be debriefed. Nobody wants you walking around without your briefs.

Besides, the totality of Malzhan’s overall scheme is too much for the average mind to handle. If you saw it, you couldn’t comprehend it. You would drive yourself insane trying to grasp it.

Does a tree that falls in the forest make noise if no one is there to hear it? Malzhan knows the answer to this question. He also knows how to make the tree lead the nation in total fallage. And foliage.

But forestry isn’t his passion. Too bad for the trees.

6:37 – on

From 6:37 on, Malzhan isn’t a football coach any more. He’s just an average dad, playing with his kids, talking to his wife and doing the normal mundane things every dad in the world does.

If every dad were an offensive genius.

He helps his wife with the dishes by first drawing out an alignment where the youngest child lines up behind his wife and takes a direct snap of the rinsed glasses so he can place them on the dishwasher rack. Dishwashing time is trimmed in half. Malzhan knows, because he times it with a stopwatch.

He reads to his children, taking care to explain that Hansel and Gretel could easily have avoided the grasp of the witch if Hansel had lined up in an offset formation and been used as a decoy. He would have drawn the witch in, and before she realized what was happening, the pair could have scored a huge snack from her gingerbread house.

Malzhan also thinks the three little pigs should have gone on the offensive, as they clearly had a numbers advantage on the wolf.

When he and his wife retire for the night, she puts her foot down.

“Offensive genius or not, Mr. Malzhan, you’re leaving the stopwatch on the counter. You are not bringing it in there,” she says with a nod of her head toward the bedroom door.

Malzhan contemplates pointing out how many more times he can score when he’s efficient, but in the end agrees.

Besides, he has a clock in his head and she can’t stop him from ticking off the mental seconds. It’s all about precision and timing.

The house, long dark, grows quiet.

As Malzhan drifts off to sleep, the wheels in his brain start to spin, conjuring up new visions, new formations, new ways to attack defenses. Tomorrow morning when he wakes at 5:12, or maybe 5:03, he’ll start a new day of sketching, scheming and planning.

Malzhan’s sleep is peaceful.

Around the country, however, ten head coaches and ten defensive coordinators who know they will soon match wits with Malzhan across the football field do not sleep nearly as soundly.

Their dreams are not so pleasant.

Auburn backed up its opening week win with a thorough beating of Mississippi State in their SEC opener. The offense again exceeded expectations, and the outcome of the game was never in doubt in the second half. Gene Chizik has to get his team ready for a prime time showdown with West Virginia, but first, I want to look back at a few things from Saturday’s game.

1. Gus Malzahn is keeping his word.

He said he would put a renewed emphasis on running the ball. And that’s exactly what he has done. The rushing attack has been dominant in both games thus far. It has created big plays and opened up passing lanes for Chris Todd. Anytime you rush for nearly 400 yards in an SEC game, you’re doing something right. Malzahn is smart to ride the deepest portion of the offense (the running backs) for as long as its working. Teams will start loading the box to stop the run, leaving them vulnerable to the pass.

2. Eltoro!

It was great to see Eltoro Freeman out there for the Auburn defense. He provided some much needed depth at linebacker and brought some fire and energy to the team. Hopefully he can stay healthy, because he will develop into a force to be reckoned with in the SEC.

3. Big plays, little things.

There’s something different about this team that has been missing for the last couple years. It’s big plays. The running game is gashing defenses. Malzahn is letting Chris Todd throw down the field. The defense is making plays (see Antonio Coleman’s incredible interception return). It gets difficult to drive the ball 80 yards in this conference. Big plays provide easy yards and deflate opposing defenses.

The other impressive thing is that the team seems to be doing the little things right. Kodi Burns did an incredible blocking job to spring Onterio McCalebb to his first half touchdown. Gang tackling has been a theme so far. There haven’t been any unsportsmanlike penalties that I can think of. These are the things that must continue for the wins to keep coming.

4. Special teams needs work.

Punt returns have been an adventure. Auburn has been lucky enough to recover two muffed punts so far, one in each game. The new punt formation got a punt blocked and returned for a touchdown, giving State a short-lived lead. Kick returns haven’t been successful and kick coverage has only been adequate. On the positive side, Wes Byrum has looked good and Morgan Hull did a great job on kicking the ball deep against Mississippi State.

Special teams is an area where Auburn fans have been pretty spoiled. Tommy Tuberville always put a huge emphasis on them and used starters to play nearly every position on every special team. Little mistakes in the kicking game can be the difference in winning and losing, so that needs to be addressed and corrected soon.

5. Auburn fans: ENJOY this!

I was struck by how many people managed to find things to complain about after Saturday’s game. I mean, people do realize how much better things look right now don’t they? Obviously there have been mistakes. Even Florida’s players mess up sometimes. They’re college kids after all. The defense is just fine. The offense is better than anyone could have reasonably expected. So ENJOY it! Take the bad with all the good that has been shown so far, and be reasonable fans.

War Eagle everybody! I’ll have a week 3 preview up later this week!

It seems like it’s been a long time since Auburn football was fun.

It hasn’t really, but the ache of 2008 was so strong that it feels like Auburn fans have been wandering the proverbial desert for 40 years.

New offensive coordinator Gus Malzhan is well on the road to changing that dynamic.

In his first two games with the Tigers, Malzhan has helped shred the team’s offensive record books, sent the scoreboard pinwheeling and put the Tigers at as solid a 2-0 as could have possibly been hoped for.

To say that Malzhan’s offense has so far exceeded expectations is like saying Kate Beckinsale is sort of pretty.

The evolution of that offense and the potential it brings to a Tiger team that has watched numerous seasons bog down with offensive inefficiency, adds a whole new dimension to fun at Jordan Hare Stadium.

How fun was Saturday night’s 49-24 demolition of Mississippi State?

It was mascot Aubie dancing with the band fun.

In the game’s final five minutes, fans were watching a play-by-play yardage total on the Jumbotron, urging the second team to gain a few more yards so Auburn could top 600 total on the night.

The Tigers didn’t quite get there, finishing with 589. Still, it was the second straight 500-plus yard outing for a Tiger offense that had difficulty gaining any yardage a year ago.  Through two games, the Tigers have amassed a school-record 1,145 yards.

Auburn didn’t break the 1,100 yard mark as a team until the fourth game of 2008.

Ben Tate and Onterrio McCalebb both topped the 100-yard mark for the second straight time. It’s the first time in school history two backs have gone over 100 yards in consecutive games.

Tate finished with 157 yards and didn’t play a single snap in the first quarter.  McCalebb added 115 on just 15 carries.  Both Tate and McCalebb averaged more than seven yards per attempt.

Tate finished 2008 with 664 yards, even after rushing for 117 in the season opener. The Tiger senior has racked up 272 already in 2009.

Kodi Burns ran for three touchdowns and passed for another on a well executed run fake that drew the entire Mississippi State defense in.

Auburn put up 49 points (and should have had more) against a Mississippi State team traditionally known for its defense.

Auburn scored more than 40 points only once in the last three seasons: a 55-20 win over New Mexico State in 2007.

The combined total of 86 points through two games is the best since Auburn put 63 on Ball State and followed that with 37 against Western Kentucky in 2005.

Auburn’s two-game total margin of victory, 49 points, is the widest of any two consecutive games since Auburn blasted Washington State 40-14 and then hammered Mississippi State 34-0 in 2006.

Last season’s well-chronicled 5-7 debacle aside, Auburn won a lot of games over the last few years. The Tigers posted nine wins in 2005, 11 in 2006 and nine more in 2007.

So many of those were gut wrenching, close ball games where the Tigers relied on their defense to hold the opposition at bay while the offense did just enough to win.  The record is littered with 23-17, 22-15, 17-3 type scores.

Former head coach Tommy Tuberville, despite a reputation as a riverboat gambler, grew increasingly conservative over the course of his 10-year Auburn tenure.

The 2009 edition of the Tigers under new head coach Gene Chizik seemingly has no such conservative bent.

Case in point: Mississippi State blocked a second quarter punt to take a 17-14 lead with just 4:44 remaining in the first half.

In previous seasons, the Tigers might have been content to play it safe, run out the clock and plan for the second half.

No longer. Auburn roared 80 yards in just five plays, burning a mere 1:36 off the clock to retake the lead. McCalebb covered the final 48 yards on a charge around left end.

When the defense held Mississippi State to one first down on its ensuing possession, the Auburn coaching staff judiciously used its timeouts to preserve the clock.

Auburn got the ball back at its own 22 with just 1:29 remaining.

Sit on the ball and protect the lead? No thanks.

Todd hit Darvin Adams for 21 yards on a third and eight.

After a five-yard bullrush by Tate, Todd and Adams connected again for 28 yards.  A 20-yard Todd to Adams completion moved the ball to the Bulldog one with 21 seconds still remaining.

Burns plunged in from there for one of his three touchdowns on the night.

Instead of taking a 17-14 deficit and a basket of questions to the halftime locker room, the Tigers posted two scores in the final 4:44 and carried a truckload of confidence to the break.

The Bulldogs were never a factor after that.

Yes, it’s only Louisiana Tech and Mississippi State.  Tech may struggle this season as evidenced by the 32-7 thrashing administered by Navy on Saturday.

MSU may not win a single conference game and most observers peg the Bulldogs as the league’s worst team.

But the Auburn of the last five years didn’t beat the Louisiana Techs and Mississippi States as thoroughly as this Auburn team did.  Those Auburn teams won more than their share of games.

It’s too early to begin building the Gene Chizik pedestal. It’s not time to start minting the Gene Chizik coins.  Unless you live in Iowa, where that was already done, that is.

It is time to recognize that if nothing else, Chizik and his staff have found a way to make football at Auburn fun again.

Now it’s time to see if they can make the Tigers relevant.  The road to relevance starts with 2-0 West Virginia on Saturday.